The temperature has dropped. Animals and critters seem to be getting used to it, although Ranger the Goat was very stiff legged when I let him out of his pen and took him with me when I went down to tend to the horses this morning. I worry about him – the winters here are just too long. I hope he makes it until Spring and can then get to hang out in the yard, basking in the sun and eating fresh greens.

I got all the horses out today – the sun came up over the horizon and moved a short ways across the sky. There was some light, no heat. My fingers on my left hand got cold and started to hurt when I pen cleaned. When I went out later, I wore the new gloves that Pete recently purchased for me. Ahh, fingers were warm. And I wore my Steger mukluks. Ahh, toes were warm.

Tyra at the top of Siggi's trail

I took Tinni around the loop, and then took Raudi around the loop and onto the trail. Pete and I later did the latter, walking Hrimfara and Tyra. Tyra was quite beautiful, the sun behind her red coat making it look like she was glowing.

I was of course grateful to have the opportunity to be with the horses. I was also, of course, grateful to again have some much-needed thinking time. Today, as planned, I thought some about Autumn Johnson, who was in both my Wilderness Responder and EMT classes a few years back.

Yes, I was stunned to hear about her death. Like everyone else, I just presumed that she would finish her studies, and if life took her in the direction that she was planning, that she’d become a veterinarian. She had been accepted into the pre-vet program at Kansas State. I don’t think she knew that it was not the veterinary program per say.

I was admittedly, envious of her because she was doing something that I aspired to do but did not. I aspired to be a veterinarian. I did not follow that path because I was not science oriented. Most likely a good thing. But, of course, when one thinks that they might do something and don’t end up doing it, they end up having regrets.

I did one day tell Autumn, who was a very hard worker, that she could relax a bit in the end stages of her senior year. She who had yesterday what I called single minded intensity of focus did not hear me.

She was someone who many years back might have become a friend. The problem was, she saw me as being old. And this was just a few years ago. She was extremely solicitous. She would move a chair back from the table when I entered a room and do things she thought that I would have a hard time with, like pick up heavy things. This baffled me because I did not see myself the way she saw me. I presumed that I was physically and mentally her equal.

I didn’t, at the semester’s end, suggest we stay in touch, so of course I never did hear from her. She had said that she was planning on getting a large animal practice going here in Alaska. This was just a huge loss, in so many ways.

Next: 344. 12/13/21: What we Talk about when we talk about Cold