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June 10, 2020: A Conversation with Raudi, Tyra, and Hrimmi

Alys: Raudi, Tyra, I noticed that you two are now getting along quite well. You’re eating together, and often, Tyra, you’re in between Raudi and Hrimmi.
Raudi: Tyra, get this, the head bitch wants to know why we’re getting along.
Tyra: Aren’t you, Alys the head bitch?
Hrimmi: Isn’t a bitch a dog?
A: Yes, the only bitch here is Ryder, the dog.
R: She’s really bitchin.
H: What does it mean to be bitchin?
R: Good at being in charge.
A: Now, am I good at being in charge?
R: You didn’t used to be, but you’ve gotten better at it.
A: How so?

Gang of three
Gang of three

R: You trained us to come to you using treats. So if we choose not to come, and instead opt to eat grass, this is our choice.
T: I enjoy having choices.
H: I don’t. I want things to be very straightforward. I most dislike what I’ve heard called intermittent reinforcement, which is when treats are doled out in a non-random fashion.
T: Hrimmi, clearly you don’t quite get it yet. Alys gives us treats at times in an intermittent fashion in order to keep us motivated. It sort of becomes a guessing game, as in, does she have treats or does she not?
H: I don’t like guessing.
R: I don’t either.
T: I like the game-like aspect of it. I figure out one thing then move on to the next.
A: And what have you figured out lately?
T: That agility obstacle, the one where you have to go half-way around the barrel and then back the other way. Figuring this out was very frustrating. But now I can do it. I think that learning and frustration are often synonymous terms.
R: Bull shit.
A: Raudi, do you care to elaborate?
R: No.
H: I don’t like being frustrated. I want learning to be a simple endeavor.
A: You don’t like being challenged?
H: No.
A: And you, Raudi?
R: No.
A: And you Tyra?
T: Oh yes.
H: This is why Tyra is law school material.
R: Pipe dreams. Tyra won’t get into law school.
A: Why not?
R: Because she lacks thumbs.
A: You lack thumbs and you wrote a book.
R: I dictated it to you.
A: So I will go to law school with Tyra, and I will take notes and assist her in studying.
R: What about her taking tests?
A: She is going to have to be the exception to the rule.
T: Yes, I will be the exception to the rule.
H: Has there ever been a horse that graduated from college?
A: No. But there was a horse named Lucky Jim Keyes. He and his owner went all around the country, giving performances. Lucky Jim Keyes could answer questions using letters and add and subtract.
H: That’s amazing.
T: I would feel uncomfortable having that much notoriety.
R: Yep, you’ll get plenty of notoriety if you get into law school.
T: Maybe I’ll study online.
H: Yeah, Alys, you can install a super huge computer screen on the side of the shelter. Tyra, with your assistance, can then work at home.
A: First things first. Tyra, we’ll talk more about this after you get a social security card.
R: First things first. Alys, don’t forget to give us our evening supplements.
H: First things first. Alys, hay, put it right here, in front of me.
A: Now look at who’s bitchin.
H: Yes, take a good look because I’m here and not going anywhere.

Next: 162. 6/11/20: Tinni’s Bout with Colic

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