It is the sign of intelligence. The desire to learn something and then taking the initiative to learn it, yes, this is intelligence.

Me, the past few days. I learned an algebraic formula in class the other day. Today I was given an example by another individual. I do have homework, and will sit and think about the formula, and how to plug in the variables.

It is tangentially making sense. This concept has not yet clicked. I do not recall in school ever working with a formula or ever being given an example.

I sometimes wish that I had taken the initiative (as I am doing now) to put more time and energy into learning math. I did this with the sciences because I suppose I could better understand those languages.

Biology – I was introduced to this subject in the seventh grade. I did not do well, but then when I was a sophomore, I at least had background knowledge, and this enabled me to continue on my merry way in this subject. A few years ago I took human anatomy and physiology and found it difficult but comprehensible.

I was asked today why are you studying math? This (I thought to myself) is like being asked why I’m a vegetarian. The answer is, it just is. I don’t have a reason for either. But as with anything what brings me great joy, it is that click of recognition. I live for the clicks and the subject doesn’t matter.

I thought for some time that chemistry was the most exciting scientific area of endeavor. Now I am thinking that it’s not chemistry but physics because if you understand physics, you understand the laws of the universe.

What I did not know in my younger years was that then was the time to really apply myself in the sciences.

Going on in literature – I learned little and little stuck.

I try not to do what I did in the above portion of this dispatch because looking back fills me with regrets. Every night, it seems, I wake up thinking about something that I now regret. It’s best to root myself firmly in the present and move forward at the speed of light. There then will be no more regrets.

An old MFA classmate will be in town next week – he has 20 plus books to his name and goes around giving writing workshops. I don’t know about my wanting to do that much travel, but I would like to have his writing and teaching credentials.

I have laid awake at night thinking that I should have had a more linear and focused path. Eh, too late now to do anything about this.

I now have books to categorize and animals to tend to. I am not going to finish Shelf Life – I am now focused on seeing where this project goes and this is taking a lot of time.

But it’s spring and the water in the pen is running fast and I better go and catch it before the horses are up to their necks in it.

Next: 98. 4/10/26: There’s no place like home