I often wonder about how much time I have left as an earthling. I also wonder about those around me. And I wonder about the animals that I interact with on a daily basis and how much time they have left.

This morning, as I was finishing cleaning the horse pen, I noticed that Swamp Thing, aka Lilac, was standing in a corner of the horse enclosure, under a shelter awning. She knew that in moving, she’d be exerting herself and this wasn’t something she wanted to do. I looked at her and asked myself, how much time does she have left?

This evening Ryder, the border collie, came up to me. I was sitting at the kitchen table, next to the woodstove. I went and dragged the dog bed in the kitchen addition next to the stove. As she laid down; I asked myself, how much time does she have left?

How much time do you have left? This is a question that I ask the animals, but they don’t ask it of me. Why is this? At what particular point in time did humans know that they were going to die and that everyone and everything was going to do the same? Animals watch other animals, but they don’t (to my knowledge) think about their own mortality.

Now Swampy and Ryder may die before me but then I might die before them. There is no way of knowing.

Life doesn’t suck. Death sucks. And the longer we live, the more we are exposed to death. First go the great grandparents, then the parents. In between great, then not so great uncles and aunts go to meet their maker.

Life as a child has its drawbacks, but even then there’s the hope that when we grow up, that life will be easier because we won’t be under our parent’s thumbs. Alas, there are other things to contend with, like figuring out where our next meal is coming from, and where the money for the utilities bills is going to come from, etc, etc.

And so I have often asked myself, who is going to die first, me or Pete? I almost want to go first because life without him would be more difficult than life with him. I would not be able to take care of this place and tend to the animals without him. He could easily do this without me and might actually be happier being totally self-sufficient. He of course would not say this, but being all knowing, I know this is distinct possibility.

Here I’m considering some important questions. These are questions that now, that in one form or another, those older me are bringing up in conversation.

This brings us back to the original question, one that I came no closer to answering, and this is, at what point did human being realize that in life there’s a beginning and ending point.

Next: 78. 3/19/26: Dark