I am having a problem with math, and that is that I am not able to tackle the problems at hand. I go off on metaphorical tangents – not as a matter of preference, but habit. Yesterday is a good example. Skye (tutor) and I went over square roots and cubes – I still didn’t get it, but when he asked me questions, I was able, without thinking about it, to give him the right answers. This made me realize that I don’t get it because I have been complicating matters.

Then, the grande finale was this – Skye drew a balance on the smart screen and told me that algebra means balance. And so an algebraic equation is one in which there are two sides, and both are balanced. He then used Legos to show how this works.

Pete and Skye hang art bulletin board

My mind then started racing because of the concept of balance. Here I am, now leading a very unbalanced life – my taking a math class has made it even more unbalanced. My dog, I wonder, why am I doing this? I say this to myself when I think of all else that I’m doing.

Now something to dread. I am going to take a math placement test, so as to see what I know and don’t know. This test is going to take an hour and a half. I am wondering if my attention span is going to allow for this. And I am wondering how I’ll do. My math tutor is going to see the answers and see that I have not retained much of anything that I’ve been taught.

And I could do other things with the allotted time, like go for a horseback ride. But (and this is important) I will better know what others are going through when they have to take this test.

Already, I am more empathetic to the concerns of those who want to succeed in life and have been told that being able to do math (and this includes algebra) are an integral part of this.

Imagine it – having three children, an unreliable husband, an equally unreliable car, and a dog that the kids found on the street and is not housebroken. Add to this a job working at a fast food restaurant, and a mean supervisor. This job doesn’t pay the bills. And there is more to it, of course. The question is, would this person have time to spare, to take an hour and half math placement test?

The answer is no. I am sure that those who work with such individuals are keenly aware of the obstacles in the path of test takers.

I’ll take this test and then I’ll go back to being afraid of Xs and Ys, which are unknown variables until they become known variables. That which I do not know does tend to make me fearful.

But I am going to forge ahead in my quest to find that all elusive balance. I do not know what algebra has to do with this, but I am going to find out.

Next: 50. 2/19/26: Own Thoughts get in the Way