A blustery day, but not that cold. The non-existent sun is now setting earlier. Two months and some odd days before the solstice. Then the light returns. Why am I so obsessed with light? Because it’s hard dealing without it. Some have suggested that I get a seasonal affective disorder light, to which I have said yeah, yeah, yeah.

The problem is that I feel as though there is no substitute for the real thing. No, there is not. Sunlight is just a small part of it. There is also how real light appears in the sky – sometimes amazing colors – and on the ground, sometimes casting shadows. Hanging out under a light or walking around a department store just does not cut it.

And we live off the grid, so it would be difficult getting enough juice to keep it going. I liken it to a sleep apnea mask, which also would draw power. I of course would like to try one, but their being very uncomfortable would keep me awake.

I would not mind going someplace in the winter that’s warm and has more light. But we are stuck here with our animals who I suspect are also Vitamin D deficient.

Black Tail, the chicken, does not look good to me. She is thin, has lost feathers and has a glazed look in her eyes. I hope she gets better. Now if we were heading into spring, I would be more optimistic about her future.

Today, I found myself thinking about heaven in relation to chickens. I pictured thousands of chickens, spread out over hundreds and hundreds of acres, all happy, all warm, all laying eggs that hatch and add to the hen population. And the roosters are friendly and ask the hens if they want to do what it is that hens and roosters do. And if and when the hen says no, the rooster says perhaps another day and goes about his business. This then, is truly free range.

I don’t know how it all works, but it’s most likely a similar set up for beef cattle, who have green grass to graze on 24/7. The same for dairy cattle, who don’t have to worry about being milked because they are dry.

The reason this is all so hard to envision is because we can’t envision it. We have an earthly, not a galaxy, related perspective. When we die, we’ll then have answers.

In order to get into heaven, you have to have a soul. Do all animals have souls? I think so. And having a soul for an animal is not dependent upon having connections with human beings. This is where we err.

Animals are spared knowing that they are going to die. We humans know this. And we spend our lives speculating about our upcoming deaths. How we are to die and what is to become of us does cast a shadow on our lives.

Oh well. The absence of light gets me to thinking this way.

Next: 271. 10/11/26: Manure