I was commuting to my, ahem, volunteer job today, and as usual, I was flipping the radio stations back and forth. I listen to three stations, not simultaneously, but one at a time. I am waiting to hear a song that I like. If I have not heard it before, I usually do not like it. I’m music stuck in the years 1970 to 1986. Every so often I hear a song that I like that was from before this particular stretch of time, but not often.

Sometimes the news is on, or there is a radio talk show. Sometimes. Not often. I was just about to change the station when I heard a talk show host say something about “the ripple effect.” The question is, was this a common phrase that I picked up on, and gave further thought to, or did I coin it and it spread really fast? I suspect that it was the former.

But I was left to wonder – do others who use this now catch phrase envision a pebble being dropped in a pond, and the concentric rings moving outward?

And I was left to wonder further – when people hear an analogy like this, do they all picture the same thing?

And I was left to wonder even further – do people hear what we mean when we say something? We think they do. But I have noticed that Pete, when pressed, will have a differing interpretation of what I’ve said, after I’ve said it. This is because (of course) he’s drawing upon differing experiences when he responds. No matter that a lot of our experiences have been similar – we have not and never will be joined at the hip. To be joined at the hip would make us like co-joined twins, which is no way to live. This would get old, fast.

So we can assume that when we say something to someone, no matter how close they might be, that they really aren’t hearing us.

Best to just listen and to make our own interpretations.

It’s quite interesting – men are supposedly from Mars and women are from Venus. But right now, my four best friends are male. My fifth best friend is Pete. All listen to me and I listen to them.

There was a time when I would gladly have hopped into bed with any of these guys. No longer, that part of the friendship is not there. I am glad that this is not so because it would get in the way of what I now most value – connection through conversation. Maybe this is what I wanted all along – the other part of the equation loomed in front of me like a curtain that I had to push aside before getting to what I most needed – the speech-related bond.

Heavy stuff. The guys are also (thankfully) heavy lifters. I can still pick up and move boxes of books, but I have now resigned myself to the fact that less is now most likely better.

Next: 268. 10/8/26: Discouraged