A Heavy (defined by me) is an individual who has to take charge and see that others are accountable. This term is not to be confused with the term Heavy Lifter. Heavy lifters lift heavy things, like banker boxes full of books, which can weigh anywhere from 30 to 50 pounds. More and more, I search around for a heavy lifter when I have boxes of books that need moving.

I don’t look around for a heavy when I am in need of one, that is someone who will let the person in question know that they have or in some way erred.

I don’t look around because I am the one in charge. I founded the Bright Lights Book Project and am (currently) the executive director. I am also the operations manager and the publicist. I at times do fundraising, and I organize and attend events.

Yee haw, I say, bring on the croutons, those who are not doing their job to my satisfaction. I do have high standards, but lowering them is out of the question. Books need to be cleaned and stamped properly, and they need to be distributed in a timely fashion.

We have a volunteer coordinator who is very part time. He is so part time that he is struggling in mediating between his two jobs (he also works for a nonprofit partner organization). I have become the heavy in telling him what needs to be done, when.

I also am being the heavy with two volunteers who are high school level. They come to the BLBP to hang out. It’s their teen center. I do not mind this, but when they work, they lack single minded intensity of focus.

Okay. And I have had to be the heavy with Hrimmi, who is more interested in eating grass than she is in getting from point A to point B. My nick name for her is Ferdinand, as in Ferdinand the Bull. All he wanted to do was sniff flowers. Like Ferdinand, Hrimmi is a very gentle soul with a simple agenda.

Being the heavy has meant encouraging her to move out, using the crop. Tonight I did a road ride on her, with a light rein. But I was overly heavy handed on the trails and did use my crop some.

Being the heavy is a very heavy proposition, which is one that weighs heavy on my heart. Now I would not be very happy if, say, I was a BLBP underling and a heavy came down on me. In fact, I’d be very unhappy.

Hard to say. I need to think more about this.

Next: 186. 7/10/26: A Conversation with Raudi