I’m looking for ways to deal. I have never before had this problem. It’s new to me. The best I can do is identify it.

It was Friday. I decided not to go to the hotel because of bad weather. It was snowing and raining and I rightly supposed that the roads were unsafe.

This morning, I put off being overwhelmed by giving myself one hour to work on my proposal. I figured that then I would face this problem head on. I ended up putting myself in the zone, a space where I don’t feel overwhelmed. I worked four hours on my Shelf Life proposal. I then gave myself a pat on the back because I didn’t believe that I’d get as far as I did. Writing this proposal was also something I didn’t want to do.

Raudi

The process was made easier by the fact that it had started to snow more heavily and the wind was blowing. I didn’t feel the need to go outside again. I’d gone out once and tended to the horses. There was so much manure that I didn’t get it all, which was a first.

I worked from 10:00 a.m. to 2 :00 p.m. Then, after we had lunch, Pete suggested that we go riding. I didn’t want to go because I wanted to remain inside. But of course I listened to the motivator. I made sure that he didn’t have to convince me to go. I of course still enjoy riding.

Pete rode Tyra and I rode Raudi. We took the dogs along. Raudi was very forward walking up the road. Ryder the dog was very slow. I felt like I was being drawn and quartered. We did make it to the trail head and there I discovered that the wet snow was deeper than I thought, not super deep, but deep enough to slow me down. It didn’t seem to slow Raudi down.

We had a good ride – the orange sun was low in the sky and there were no trail obstacles. Pete had taken Hrimmi and her chain saw pack carrier and cut the downed limbs. He showed me each and every one. Ryder worked hard to keep up but did not turn back, which means that she wanted to come along.

I let Raudi go on Oceanview and she raced home, going past Tyra and Pete, she bucked and did a cow kick. I was glad to see she was feeling good. It’s been a long hard winter.

I finished cleaning the pen (actually the job is never done), and then I trudged back up to the cabin. And I then got back to work; I resumed working on the proposal by again entering the zone.

Interesting – working on the proposal had gotten easy. So it became a form of procrastination. I didn’t want to have to face all I had to do.

I dealt, by working on the next project, the administrative involved in the Books To Kenya project. I didn’t make any headway in finding a Washington to Tacoma freight shipper, but I got tomorrow’s zoom call lined up.

And I shoved important things to do in my planner. There they now are, waiting to be dealt with.

Next: 17. 1/17/26: My DNA