I paused for a long time after writing the above dispatch title. Writing is problem solving. It’s also a form of self-discovery. You figure things out when you write because your thinking process is slowed down some. You are also forced to think in a more linear fashion, particularly when you are attempting to sort out a seemingly insurmountable amount of things. This is why I write.

If I did not write, I’d feel like I’d be way off-shore in a boat without a rudder or sail. I’d be in the doldrums, the horse latitudes, just drifting, just wondering how long I’d be without water or food. Sharks would circle my boat – big sharks, big enough to tip over the boat. If a shark did tip over the boat, it would be all over. Being torn apart by a shark would be a very painful way to go, for sure.

AmeriCorp volunteers

I have digressed. I am avoiding writing about what I most need to write about, which is what I alluded to in the title, guiding spirits.

I turned away from organized religion when I was in high school. Up until then, I just went with the program. I never made the Kierkegaardian leap of faith. My feet have always remained on firm ground. Like everyone else, I have wondered what becomes of us after we die. I do know what becomes of the physical part. Ideally, we should become fodder for the creatures that inhabit the soil. But like so many things, we got this one all wrong. We put people in boxes, after injecting chemicals into them. There they be, in perpetuity, for as long as perpetuity lasts. Or we cremate people and then spread or bury their ashes where they or those who survive them feel fit.

This matters environmentally, but not in any other way, unless of course our spirit lingers and takes in what becomes of us.

The soul – this is what we have left to speculate about. Now it stands to reason if there is a soul, there is a higher power. The two go together like peanut butter and jelly.

I never sought a spiritual path because I had no evidence that this would lead anywhere.

This life-time it is going to be enough to acknowledge that we might very well have souls and that there might be a higher power. I can’t see myself doing any more than this.

What brings this to mind is the book project and all the good things have come out of it, for me and for others. I sometimes go to sleep and wake up fretting because I fear that the boat will tip over and the sharks will get me. Then I get up and do what seemed at 4, 5, or 6 p.m. to be near insurmountable.

Like today – the AmeriCorp volunteers came and gave an assist in cleaning umpteen children’s books. I thought they were coming just to check out the place. They did an amazing job. How was it that they found us? And was this just happenstance? I was left to wonder.

Now, I am thinking of doing the impossible and starting a fundraising campaign, so that we can purchase land, and eventually construct a building. How difficult is this going to be, I wonder? And will a guiding spirit provide the funding in an unexpected way? We’ll see. Lots to think about.

Next: 48. 2/19/24: Ideas, Indeed