Birthdays are novel, sort of like trying on a new pair of jeans. The novelty wears off the next day, the new jeans are just another clothes item. Another year older is one thing. Another year older and a day is quite another.

I wonder how much different I’d feel if I could go back to the day before my birthday. Aging is incremental. The aches and pains that accompany going into the twilight of one’s years just catch up with you. And they don’t seem to go away.

I had these thoughts today when I was at the pool. Clothes and make-up and accessories are a good cover up. In the pool environment, what is really what is. There are a lot of heavy-set people doing senior swim. They do laps using flippers and boards. Many do not venture past the shallow end barricade.

There were too many in the shallow end today, so I took a lane when it opened up. I have not been doing the crawl stroke because I fear messing up my neck. But today I did a few strokes and will increase the number.

There are pull up bars under the diving boards, at the end of the lanes. I like using them – I am buoyant in the water and am able to pull myself upward.

After the incentive to go to the pool in the first place, I hit the hot tub. Today I got in and plopped myself down next to a woman. She struck up a conversation with me – asked about my tattoo and then told me about hers. I remarked to Tammy, this was her name, that talking about tattoos connected people. We then began talking about the importance of stories, in relation to connection.

Of course, this led to my talking to her about the Bright Lights Book Project. This had to be a first, any of us talking about the project in a hot tub. I quickly moved beyond the elevator speech, and after talking some more, invited her to come on over to the hotel.

The strange thing was, as we talked, I ceased to see her as heavy-set. In other words, I suspended judgement. This happens a lot to me. I judge people based on their appearance which is the wrong thing to do. I suspect that if I talked to all those in the pool or pool area during senior swim, that our stories would connect us in meaningful and thoughtful ways.

I have learned this in the past few years, in talking about the book project. This lesson is one that most learn early in life. I do not know why I am learning it later in life. It would have done me more good to have figured this out early on.

So now I know that there is a community of swimmers, and I’ll bet you that I will, in the next few months, get to know them.

Next: 255. 9/19/24: We Make the Days What they are