Photos are coming back from NASA, photos from outer space. I am just seeing the computer images, but even these are remarkable. There are many galaxies – the size of the universe is beyond our comprehension. And each and every star is a sun, and each and every sun could be supporting various life forms.

I am not worried about aliens paying us a visit – we are not worth visiting. We live on a planet that we have trashed out – in other words, we have fouled our nest. We as humans have the capacity to analyze, scrutinize, and self-reflect, but we are lacking in other cognitive abilities.

Bees are preparing to leave

We love guns, and we harbor no remorse about killing and torturing one another. We also have no qualms about killing animals and also using them for research purposes. Why is this? And why aren’t we more responsible? Why don’t we embrace alternative forms of energy and show more respect for nature?

Are the end times coming? I think that it’s going to be a long, slow death, one in which past memory is going to haunt us. I have heard that if nuclear weaponry is used, the sky will go dark. So we will miss having sunshine. The polar bears go extinct, we’ll miss having polar bears. We know what’s coming, and we know that it’s going to be dreadful, but we aren’t collectively going to change our patterns of behavior.

I was talking today with Timothy, the fellow who I met indirectly through the book project. He ate lunch at the senior center on Tuesdays. He is undergoing 85 days of radiation treatment, for bladder cancer, which is now in his bones.

Timothy is very unassuming. He says these very astute things, not realizing that they are astute. He is being very responsible about his possessions, leaving them with people he cares about. This is so different than what our neighbor Jim did – he left a huge mess for his family to deal with. I now have his 98 Subaru. Tonight I cleaned out back – it was a mini-hoard. I set aside clothes for the thrift store, rags and crap for the dump, and tools for me. This includes tire changing equipment. Just this task alone is indicative of the fact that Jim was unable to deal responsibly with what he owned.

Timothy is very self-aware. Jim was not.

Maybe Timothy is in a state of denial. Jim was in a state of denial.

In another universe, far, far away, there is another Alys, another Timothy, and another Jim. Imagine that. We are one and the same, me writing about two guys who are polar opposites. I suspect their planet is also being trashed by their counterparts.

I feel bad for us. I feel bad for them. I want to say, well, don’t blame me for what’s coming down, but I too have used up more than my share of resources.

This is all I have to say about that.

Next: 190. 7/13/22: Tough to Swallow