Ever since I was a little kid, the concept of Sainthood, and yes, that is with a capital S, intrigued me. This was because I was as far from being a saint as was humanly possible. I was a mean, nasty, controlling kid with a huge chip on her shoulder. I was not much different as an adolescent, but then no one noticed because adolescents are generally mean, nasty, controlling, and have a huge chip on both shoulders.

Now that I’m an adult, I’m much the same. And, I am not going to change. The personality traits have become entrenched. I think that because I am the way I am, that over time, I’ve come to better appreciate those who are kind, gentle, flexible, and don’t have a chip on their shoulders.

Not everyone can be a saint. If everyone was a saint, there would be no one to emulate. There would be no good, better, best, just good.

Alys hit the EMT wall

I am, it seems, surrounded by saints, the first one that of course comes to mind is my sister Eleanor who always errs on the side of fairness and has high levels of empathy and compassion. Dorothy, my wilderness responder teacher, she too is up there. And there are, as of late, all the doctors and nurses and behavior specialists who work in emergency rooms all across the country. I met just a few the other day.

Only a handful of individuals get to be nominated for sainthood. And the process is such that you first have to have performed a miracle or two. There is also a 50 year wait to get on the list. This happens after you die. This process takes a long time, the reason being that the powers that be want it known that only the best of the good, better, best are worthy of having the word Saint put before their name.

Me, I’m content with having the abbreviation for Doctor of Philosophy, that is, Ph.D. after my name. Nope, I will not be nominated for sainthood and that’s okay with me.

Today, during Saturday EMT lab, Chris, age 35, a fellow student, talked about his experiences yesterday during his clinical rotation at Mat-Su Regional Hospital. He said that towards the end of the day he did CPR on a woman who subsequently died. I later asked him if he still wanted to become a doctor and he said yes.

Hearing this, I felt like I did when I ran a marathon with a hill at the 18-mile point. I hit the wall. Right then I realized that I have taken this EMT thing as far as it could go. I have no desire to work on an ambulance crew or work in an emergency room.

I don’t know if Chris is one of those individuals who is destined for sainthood – not everyone who goes into the medical field is – but I suspect he has now discovered his niche.

Now, tomorrow, I have my second emergency room rotation, and I am not looking forward to it. When the saints come marching in, I guess I won’t be in that number.

Next: 325. 11/24/19: The Moth and the Flame