Right now I wish that I’d kept journals about being a student in all of the classes I’ve taken while at Mat Su College. I have taken a dozen courses, all but photography and Photoshop have been in the sciences. I started out by taking courses in the then Agricultural department, moved on to taking courses in veterinarian medicine, and from there moved on to taking Anatomy and Physiology I and II, and in the past year, Wilderness First Responder and now EMT-1.

This has been a rather zig-zagging sort of route – Pete said this afternoon at a recycling benefit that he’d been asked if I was going to find work as an EMT. What few know is that I am working on the big picture here, this in my continuing efforts to make the horse/human mind/body connection. Taking this EMT course is about as tangential from this goal as I want to get. I am right now learning about the physiologically-related aspects of trauma in relation to shock. Some of this is correction and clarification for me. For instance, I thought that this summer, when Raudi tripped over the log when wearing her hobbles, that she went into hypovolemic shock. But this could not be because this sort of shock involves blood loss. The heart then pumps harder and the pulse quickens – blood then goes from the extremities to the core. Now I am thinking that she suffered from cardiogenic shock – I did not take her pulse but if I had I most I likely would have noted these characteristics.

When we got home from our summer trip, a tree was grownig up between the porch steps.

I’m also having it brought back to mind what it is like to be a student. I of course have to make time to study. And at the same time, I must get my work in on time. And, I am accountable to the others in my group. Today my group had just two members. I hate to say it, but there is a slight disconnect between me and them because I am older and they are younger. I sometimes feel as if we are from differing planets. Our cultural frames of reference are way different. I also have a lag time in responding to them because of my hearing deficiency. I have never been good at problem solving, and this time is no exception. Plus I spend so much time alone that I am not practiced at interacting with others. The latter reason is why my taking this course is so good for me. I am in this respect, out of my comfort zone.

I do have one thing going for me, and this is that I have excellent time management abilities. I do more than what needs to be done in a timely fashion.

How I end up doing in this class is immaterial. I have to keep reminding myself that this is the difference between my having been a student and my being a student now. I have paid my dues tenfold. I also have this big picture purpose in taking this course. Admittedly, I do not know right now where I am going with my interest in the horse/human mind body relationship. But I do know this – my felt sense tells me that indeed, I am on the right track.

Next: 269. 9/29/19: Under the Wire