If I were to write a book of poems, this is what I would call it. This would also be a good title for a book of essays. I originally titled this dispatch At Loose Ends/Moving Forward. Too mundane, but perhaps more central to what I have to say today.

A lot is happening. Doors are opening. No, I am pushing doors open. This has become such an apt metaphor for me. How wonderful it was, on the second day of the centered riding clinic, to get on Peter Parker and hear Susan Harris say “now think of doors opening before you.” Right then Peter Parker, who was being obstinate, suddenly moved forward willingly. This was as far as we got together. The following day Katina and Lee appeared – materializing out of nowhere – and yet another door opened.

What I realized was that I most enjoy working with Icelandic horses and their owners. I had been thinking that Peter Parker, by virtue of being small, had Icelandic sensibilities. He did not. I loved him dearly, but something was (at least in my mind) lacking.

It is with this knowledge in mind that I am now pushing on specific doors, of course as always getting

an assist from Pete, monetary and moral support. This is because these are really big heavy doors that I am pushing on.

Last night I called Jessica Dryden – she’s what my sister Eleanor calls a pillar of the community – I am rather in awe of her. She told me some about the upcoming pony camp clinic. Pete, in talking with her a few days ago, learned that one of the instructors is a centered riding instructor. I’d called Jessica with the intention (really) of finding out who this might be. I was thinking that perhaps it was someone local, and that I might talk further with him or her. As it turned out, the pony club people are bringing Wendy Murdoch here. I about fell off the couch when I heard this. I’ve read a lot of what she’s written – and in fact while in CA I asked the other instructors if they knew of her. Of course they do. This is because Wendy is (for lack of better words) a centered riding instructor.

Well, it turns out that the clinic costs and the pony club membership fees are prohibitive. However, Pete said that I could do this, even when I said that I’d be glad to audit. He must have known somehow that my working with and meeting Wendy was important. Well, I do pick my clinics carefully. My thinking is now that I am most interested in working with those who are attuned to Icelandic horse sensibilities.

There’s that. And there is also this. I am now thinking that in the fall that I might go to Iceland and to then to the Netherlands, first to Iceland in order to do an internship and then to the Netherlands for the centered riding symposium. I mentioned this to Pete and he did not say no . . . .

So this morning I emailed Helga at Thingeyrar. Her credentials are impressive and she has a beautiful farm. So, my going to Iceland looms as a distinct possibility. I can get a ticket to Europe with Iceland as a stop on the way.

Other things – Pete and I have picked an arena site. We need to ask our neighbors if we can encroach on their land. And we need to find someone with a dozer, so they can excavate the area. So I might have a site where I might instruct and work with our horses.

Agility – Raudi and I placed fourth in the first level pony division this past month. On to June – have to teach her to trot to me, through the curtain. A good, but daunting prospect.

Equitation – June will be coming over on Friday and giving me and Raudi our first lesson.

Jumping – will continue with the once a week jumping lessons with Beth.

Competitive trail ride. This is going to be in mid-July. I would like to go to Fairbanks early, and ride the area trails.

I am so excited about all this that I feel near paralytic – as in, which direction do I turn now? Guess I need to keep in mind – doors open, doors open, doors open.

146. 6/3/15: Kicking the Habit