Home > Dispatches > Daily Dispatches 2014 >Daily Dispatch #302

November 13, 2014: Moving Forwards

I have for some time been obsessed with the subject of moving forwards. This because I’ve always equated this term with self-progress. I have, to this end, moved through life at a fast clip, going over hill and dale, taking in the sights in passing. This is a commonality that I share with many, some of whom are writers and artists. Many of the latter have died young. The central difference between those who passed on at an altogether too early age is that I, unlike them, have always had a strong sense of self-preservation. I’ve refrained from drinking and doing addictive drugs. This is because I always knew that this would have an adverse effect on my ability to create. This has worked out in my favor.

I always have, and always will be a caffeine addict – chocolate is the artistic gift that keeps on giving.

Writing, drawing, and taking photos all have kept me from moving forward too quickly, because in the process of doing these things, I have had to cease forward movement, and momentarily move back in time. This is why memoir is my genre of choice. Life would have no meaning for me unless I attempted to first make sense of it, and then pass on my findings to others. It’s in essence a survival mechanism for me.

What I’m now working on, Lessons Twice Learned: Reflections of a Returning Rider, well illustrates what I’m getting at. This summer, I took riding lessons. I wrote dispatches about my experiences. They were hurried and not well thought out. This fall I decided to go back in time and revise what I’d written. In the process of doing this, I went back in time and gave careful consideration to what it was that I actually learned. I’m now glad I did this, for I now have a better understanding as to what Raudi and I accomplished. I also have a better understanding of what some of the obstacles are that returning riders (such as myself) actually face in taking arena lessons. For some of us, this is a formidable task.

Not all the details in this book are true to life. However, I am getting at certain truths. I’m also doing this in including research-based information.

Tonight, Pete sent me a job announcement, for a position teaching in the liberal studies program in Butte, Montana. I am actually interested in applying for this one. This would in a way be a major step backwards because we moved here from Butte. However, going back there might be a major step forwards because I am not the same person I was then. Plus, it would be different the second time around. I’d be teaching, which was something that I did not do the first time around. Plus, this time I’d be going down there with horses that I acquired here. I’d be living near the Great Divide Trail system, so I would be able to again do more long trips.

We shall see; one thing at a time. I’ve been told by James Engelhardt, the acquisitions editor at The University of Alaska Press, that the board will have made some decisions regarding future publications, perhaps tomorrow. Now if this materializes I will be moving backwards in reflecting upon our past ten years here.

I’m not quite ready to give this place up, and I don’t think that Pete is either. So it might be possible to keep ties to both places for a few years. We shall see. Moving forwards and backwards – this is what those like me, who write memoirs, do.

Next: 303. 11/14/14: Pride Goeth Before a Fall