Home > Trip > Dispatches > Daily Dispatches 2013 > Daily Dispatch #153

June 3, 2013: Overwhelmed

We had a veterinary appointment scheduled today for 5 p.m. We left Fairbanks this morning at 8:35 a.m. We got home at 5:10 p.m.—about a mile from home we saw the veterinarian heading in the other direction, away from our place. He stopped, said he’d turn around, and moments later followed us into the driveway. I of course apologized profusely to Dr. Wellington. (I have noticed that veterinarians don’t apologize to us when they’re late, but no matter).

It was right as Dr. Wellington passed that suddenly, all we have to do in the next 12 days came whooshing back to mind. I’d made a list earlier. But then,

back in Nenana, this was just a list. I wondered, was our having taken the weekend off a mistake? Now, only time will tell, and her lips are sealed.

I don’t recall there being so many ins and outs when we were preparing for our first trip. I think that back then we were smart – we got out of here right before the good weather, and so we didn’t get tied down by summer projects. We abandoned the garden and decided to put up the hoop house in the fall. This time we’re attempting to do a summer’s worth of work in half a summer, and at the same time prepare for a trip. Yes, this is overwhelming.

There’s another reason why I’m feeling anxious. At a trip’s end you forget about the angst that precedes and sometimes accompanies an event. This is because it is behind you. Trip was good, you say to yourself and others.

Like before, I’m fretting about the myriad of things that could go wrong. It’s not enough for me to bag the trip, but it’s enough to give me pause. I think that this feeling has to do with a disruption in set routine, and as well, the rightly held idea that horse trekking is dangerous business. Just about anything good or bad can happen.

At this stage of the game, we both have to be very focused, and prioritize ad infinitum. This venture is not like Equi-tour, where someone takes care of your needs and your horses’ needs. We are doing it all. It’s like being your own tour guide and tourist.

I’m more anxious that usual because I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well in Fairbanks because the mosquitoes were so thick. I kept worrying for the horses, who were covered in them. Undoubtedly, they’re glad to be home. And so am I.