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March 26, 2017: The Ordinary Life: The Successful Busy Dichotomies

On his tremendously popular blog, writer Jon Katz recently proclaimed that he and his wife Maria are busy, too busy for guests, too busy to respond to emails, too busy to correspond with people outside their close circle because they are successful. I felt the hairs on my neck rise in his making the connection between being busy and being successful because this seemed to me to be the ultimate form of self-ego stroking.

I then realized that many busy people equate being busy with being successful, or at least giving the illusion of being temporarily successful. Quite often, when I suggest to someone that we get together,

Never too busy for Tyra
Never too busy for Tyra

they say they’re too busy, then subsequently waste considerable time telling me all they are doing.

One woman who I talked to the other night went on and on and on for forty five minutes about her past, present, and future plans. It did sound like her plate was overflowing with good things, so I was not surprised when she said that she would not be able to do the Centered Riding clinic in June because she has friends coming to this country and needs to spend time with them.

This is an instance in which said individual is equating being busy with success. She’s doing great things and can’t take the time to do lesser things. And these great things are taking her down the road to success

I am busy most of the time, writing in the mornings and working with the horses in the afternoon. But rather than equate my writing/horse lives with success, I instead equate them with self-satisfaction. I’m doing what I want to be doing, and all are welcome to join me. I drop what I’m doing and spend time with others. I do not ever tell anyone that I’m too busy to get together.

Wait – I did tell some friends recently that we were too busy to come over and pick up some stuff. This was because they told me that they were too busy to come over and drop off stuff. It was for a while a real tug of war. It is still is – I’m hoping they’ll show up here. I was using being busy as an excuse and so were they. They will soon be moving – what a sad life.

Tonight we went to a public gathering, a Back Country of Horsemen of Alaska meeting – I am sure there were those who didn’t come to the BCHA meeting because they were too busy. Got other things going on. Pete showed slides of our 2011 horse pack trip. Pete was moving a bit slow, and people were shifting around some. Then, all the sudden cell phones started going off, not just one, but four or five. This seemed to give the others whose cells phones weren’t ringing permission to check their phones. It was strange – people were checking for messages – messages that meant that they again, very soon, would be busy again. Right then, the slide show (at least in their minds) was less important than it had been previously.

Best, I think, to equate being busy with self-satisfaction. This way, people aren’t excluded from other people’s lives.

86. 3/2717: Shorter Days

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