imperfections and making note of her strengths. She at times does act like she’s two years old, in what can only be described as a very childlike fashion. But then she seems to snap out of it, and say things that are insightful and revelatory. I am learning to live for those moments, of which there are many.
Like today, we were unpacking stuff. I asked her what she wanted me to do with a knickknack of some kind. She looked at it, and then at me, and said “toss it.” “Are you sure?” I asked. “Yes. Stuff. I don’t need it. It’s not important. It’s just stuff.” I was impressed because mother had obviously learned something that many of us never do – how to let go of material things.
Yesterday, or maybe the day before, it dawned on me that this trip isn’t about me. Rather, it’s about getting mom situated in a place where she’ll be happy and comfortable. And it’s about giving her and Eleanor a hand with the end phase of relocation. In order to do this, I must let go of my ego.
How did this revelation come to be? I think that it has something to do with my doing yoga. I never before understood what all the talk about abandoning the self actually meant. Now I do. Putting theory to practice is, of course, going to be difficult – but I really do believe that this is the first of what will be a remaining life-long process.
Next: 122: 5/2/13: American Mattress