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November 17, 2022: The State of the Barn Address -- by Ranger

I repeatedly asked Alys if I could do the State of the Barn address; her response was that the State of the Union address, upon which we model the State of the Barn Address, is done annually, in January, so I needed to cool my jets.

I told her that I don’t have jets, and that if I did, they were most likely removed when my testicles were lopped off. That’s right, I got reprimanded in a previous blog for going into detail about the removal of goat testicles. I didn’t say this then, but then and now, the topic seemed most appropriate.

So I have no jets to cool, which means that I’m free to say as I wish. I wish I had something to say that would merit censorship, but I don’t.

Weighing young Ranger

Alys and Pete see the holidays as a time in which they don’t have to go anywhere. This means us animals are the focus of the attention, and as such, we get fed more often. Us goats as well as the horses, dogs, and chickens are, of course, grateful for the extra grub, which also seems to be in abundance this time of year.

Alys has been talking about having a nativity scene, one in which all us animals will participate. She would also like for our human friends to come dressed as their favorite biblical characters. Alys would, of course, be the Virgin Mary and Pete would be Joseph of Arrythmia. That guy, he did have several heart attacks, right?

Friends would be invited, and there would be a manager with a Baby Jesus in it. I don’t think that the Baby Jesus would be real, which is too bad. Swaddled infants usually smell good and generate good will.

Pete would have to build the nativity, and of course he’d claim to be too busy to do this. Tyra (horse) has said that the woodshed would be ideal for a nativity scene, and the more I think about it, the more right it seems.

Problem is, Alys and Pete’s friends are very busy, and most of them likely would instead go to church. So there we’d all be, waiting for the ho ho and mo ho. Me, I’d take a handful of treats in payment.

Unbeknownst to friends, they’d be missing something really amazing. I’ll bet, if we went through with this, past animals would stop in for a bit. They would not stay here long. The problem is, the longer they’d stay, the harder it would be for them all to leave. And the harder it would be for us all to say good-bye to them.

Alys has as of late been pining away for them all, and of course pining the most lately for Tinni. Us goats go with her down to the horse enclosure in the mornings – and even we have not gotten used to not seeing him waiting at the gate for his morning hay.

Well, I didn’t get to the State of the Barn address. This just means I’ll have to write another blog, one in which I address this matter.

Next: 317. 11/18/22: What we do when Darkness Descends

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