Home > Dispatches > Daily Dispatches 2020 >Daily Dispatch #227
August 17, 2020: Tyra goes Cold Turkey
The following conversation took place after our ride to Grizzly Camp, right after we arrived back home. As I note, Tyra was taken by surprise by our neighbor’s dozen turkeys.
Alys: Tyra, what did you think of those turkeys?
Tyra: Is that what they were, turkeys?
A: Yes, turkeys.
T: I never before met such stupid birds.
A: They came in your direction, in order to say hello.
T: Bullshit. They came in my direction because they thought you were going to feed them. I just happened to be in their way.
A: Did any of them say anything to you?
Alys and Tyra
T: No. They remained mute.
A: And so why did you attempt to herd them?
T: I just wanted to see if they’d move out. And they did.
A: So there was no conversing with any of them.
T: Absolutely none. Grouse are also quite dumb, but the mothers scream at me to get away from their babies.
A: If the turkeys had babies, would they have screamed at you?
A: How do you know this?
T: Because in my few moments of interaction with these birds, there was on their side not a single word said. Turkeys and stupidity go hand in hand.
A: Tyra, you know what? Those birds are reputed to be so dumb that they will stand under rain gutters and drink themselves to death.
T: Their owner has no gutters on his place.
A: So the birds will be around until Thanksgiving.
T: Then what?
A: They’ll be butchered and eaten.
T: You’ve got to be kidding. How barbaric is this?
A: I’d say pretty barbaric.
T: The birds may be dumber than a box of rocks, but they should be allowed to live out the rest of their lives.
A: I agree.
T: I think we should go over to his place and buy a few of those birds off of him.
A: Buy? We should just go steal a few.
T: I’m surprised to hear you say this.
A: So am I. Maybe we should let them out of their cage and have the mighty Ryder herd them someplace else.
T: Where else?
A: Well, we could have them here for a while.
T: Ohh that’d be fun. But you would not eat them, would you?
T: Maybe we should take them to the animal shelter.
A: Can’t do that. They’re well cared for. They’d give us the boot.
T: The animal shelter people you mean.
T: Sounds like there is nothing we can do about this situation now.
A: Nope. But what about other situations?
T: Like the sorry state of the world?
A: I don’t think that we can do anything about it, either.
T: You’d better do something, and fast?
T: Yes you.
A: Like what?
T: I don’t have an answer to that question.
A: Too bad.
T: Too bad is right.
A: But I’m hopeful that things will turn around.
T: They will.
A: You know what they say about turkeys?
A: Hope is that thing without feathers.
Next: 228. 8/18/20: Bright Lights Shine Again