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May 11, 2020: A Conversation with Buckwheat

Alys: Mr. Buckwheat, how are you doing?
Buckwheat: Very well. And you.
A: Just fine.
B: Could I have some more grain?
A: How about we talk for a few minutes, first.
B: Talk? Okay. But you are going to give me some grain, right?
A: Yes.
B: What do you want to talk about?
A: How things are going for you here.
B: I have no complaints. Your place is an excellent goat B and B.
A: You think so?
B: Oh yes. I’m fed, watered, my pen is kept clean, and I get yard privileges.


A: Yes. This is so. The reason why we brought you here, you do know what this is, don’t you?
B: Yes. I am supposed to get it on with Stormy.
A: That’s right. How come this hasn’t happened yet?
B: It’s quite complicated. But essentially the chemistry between us is such that for right now, we are good friends.
A: Are you two going to breed?
B: Most likely. You know, neither of us is in any hurry.
A: I am concerned because I don’t want babies born in the winter.
B: If they are, this won’t be a problem. That shed Pete built, it will shelter goat babies from the wind.
A: This is so.
B: You just have to be patient with us both. No slam bam thank you ma’am here.
A: It’s not that we are in a hurry, but any day, your former owner could call and ask for us to return you home.
B: Chelsea and Matt, they are wonderful people. I’m okay with going back there at any time. But I sure am enjoying my stay here.
A: There is also the matter of Ranger. I’m afraid if I let you two out together you might hurt him.
B: Just wait a bit, until there is a bit more greenery around here. Eating will take precedence over head banging.
A: Why do goats head bang?
B: What other options do we have?
A: Get serious, dude.
B: Because it feels so good when we stop.
A: Like humans hitting themselves in the head with a baseball bat.
B: A good comparison.
A: So the other animals here are treating you well?
B: This upper quadrant is quite nice. Thelma and Louise, the chickens, they always have something that they think is important to say.
A: Such as?
B: Well, one or the other lays an egg, or is in the process of laying an egg, they squawk and make a big deal about it.
A: But it is a big deal. You ever lay an egg?
B: No. But if I did, I would not squawk.
A: And Ranger?
B: He’s a bit down. He needs to get out more. Plus that skin rash he has is making him itchy.
A: The veterinarian said to give him goat minerals and this is what I’m doing.
B: The lower animals – those horses. My gosh, that red and white one chased me. I thought she was going to kill me.
A: She just wanted to get you to move.
B: The best of the lot, of all the animals here, is that older black horse.
A: Tinni?
B: Yes, what a kind and gentle soul. He even encourages me to join him and eat his hay.
A: Yes, Tinni is a very special fellow.
B: Yes, yes, this is a good place to be at this point in time.
A: Yes, yes, and we are glad to have you here. We just want some goat babies with your good disposition.
B: Give it time and you’ll get your wish.

Next: 132. 5/12/20: The Writing Life: Forwards, Backwards, and Sideways

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