The following conversation took place after the arrival of Buckwheat, Stormy’s new suitor. The mares in particular had plenty to say about the newcomer. They were out in the yard at the time.
Tyra: You all have to go up to the cabin and check it out.
Hrimmi: Check what out?
T: The new arrival.
Raudi: Another chicken perhaps?
T: No, another goat.
R: They brought back another one of those things?
H: I’m headed up.
R: Me too.
Tinni: Seen one goat you’ve seen them all.
Buckwheat arives at Squalor Hollar
Tyra: This is no ordinary goat. He looks rather odd, the hair on his back stands on end when he gets concerned. And he has, ahem, balls.
Raudi: Let’s go gang.
Tinni: Give me a report when you all get back.
The mares, together, walked up the driveway and looked over the cabin fence.
Hrimmi: That’s not a goat.
Raudi: Looks like some kind of alien.
Hrimmi: Strange, really strange.
Tyra: I forgot to tell you; he really stinks.
Hrimmi: Phew, I’ll say. Needs a bath.
Raudi: Uhh, do you think he might be Jesus Christ, reincarnated?
Tyra: I don’t think so, but you never know.
Hrimmi: Tyra, it was like you were saying yesterday, be wary of false profits.
Tyra: Prophets Hrimmi, Prophets.
Hrimmi: What’s the difference?
Tyra: Profits is in relation to money. Prophets is in relation to leaders and leadership.
Hrimmi: We could use some good leadership around here.
Raudi: We could use less leadership around here.
Tyra: If Jesus came back as a goat, and this goat was Jesus, we’d eventually draw a crowd here.
Raudi: And they would pay no attention to us.
Hrimmi: We have been talking about the goat. Maybe we should talk to the goat. Hey goat, what’s your name?
Goat: My name is Buckwheat.
Raudi: What kind of name is that?
Goat: It’s my name. I’m a buck and my coat is the color of wheat.
Raudi: What’s with the mohawk?
Goat: It makes me look large. I am more easily able to scare off predators.
Tyra: We don’t have any predators here.
Goat: What about that dog?
Tyra: Oh, she’s obsessive compulsive. Pay her no mind.
Raudi: Okay goat, are you Jesus Christ?
Goat: No. I’m one of the disciples.
Raudi: What’s a disciple?
Tyra: A follower of Jesus Christ.
Raudi: Huh? So you are not the real deal.
Goat: I’m as real as they come.
Tyra: Which disciple are you? I never heard of one called Buckwheat.
Goat: Buckwheat is my goat name. My disciple name is Elroy.
Tyra: There weren’t any disciples named Elroy.
Goat: I was the 13th apostle. 13 was thought to be an unlucky number, so I was not invited to the last supper.
Tyra: Hah. It was not a very lucky bunch.
Goat: I heard the food and drink was quite good.
Tyra: But after . . .
Goat: Yeah, that was a bummer.
Hrimmi: So how long are you going to be here?
Goat: I don’t know.
Raudi: I thought you were all knowing.
Goat: Not me. Look. As a disciple, I was just along for the ride.
Tyra: Hey, that’s like us, we’re just along for the ride.
Hrimmi: I’m heading back down to the barn. I need to tell Tinni about our new visitor.
Raudi: Gotta eat.
Tyra: Excuse us. We’ll be back. Make yourself at home.
Raudi: He already has.
Goat: In the words of Edward R. Morrow, Good luck and good night.
Raudi: So much is beyond my comprehension. Who the hell is Edward R. Morrow?
Tyra: Raudi, you will in time learn to live with your shortcomings.
Next: 117. 4/28/20: Trust what you Know