time. (I’m already three-quarters time). However, past experiences (and I have many of these) has taught me that I’d just be wasting my time if I do this because as in the past, I’d eventually (out of habit) pick myself up, dust myself off, and resume writing. In other words, set myself up for failure again.
I don’t know why I write. I am driven in the same way that alcohol and drug users are driven. Maybe this is why so many writers become alcoholics. It’s called doubling the dose. Like those of this persuasion, I too intend to give up my addiction. However, it never lasts. In the past, I’ve resumed writing, though I’ve sworn it off. And there are no support groups out there for failed writers. If there were, we’d get bookmarks instead of sobriety pins.
So this time, I am going to make a concerted effort to bounce back more quickly than in the past, which is going to be a difficult thing to do. I don’t have the time to wallow in my own ineptitude. I don’t have the time to listen to the voice of my sister who has always been dubious about my ability to break into a shrinking publication market. I don’t have the time to take on the self-help gurus who say success is all in my head and I must not want it.
So what might I do instead? A good question. I’ve already come up with a quasi-plan. First of all, I’m going to send Trafalgar Press a revised chapter, and along with this, a stronger proposal marketing section, that is one in which I give them numbers, say, of potential readers. This would include Centered Riding members, Icelandic horse owners, and returning riders. And I’ll tell them that I’ll work with them on marketing.
Now if this doesn’t work, I’ll instead send the proposal elsewhere. I’ll find three publishers and revise and then get the proposal to them. And if this doesn’t work, I’ll self-publish. Why not? I have nothing to lose. Whale shit is at the bottom of the ocean, and I, like it, have no place to go but up. But I must go up slowly, or otherwise I will get the bends.
I have a month to do two-years work. This is time that could be spent picking up horse poop.
Next: 97. 4/9/19: The Writing Life: Keep on Keeping On