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October 31, 2019: In Hindsight

Hindsight is particular to humans, and maybe to members of the ape and chimpanzee family. Regret sometimes follows in the footpath of hindsight. Not a good thing. Wisdom sometimes follows in the footpath of hindsight. A very good thing.

I was very tired when I wrote last night’s dispatch. It was mainly for this reason that I felt like I’d been kicked hard and landed on my ass. But today I got up, brushed myself off, and moved on. Yes, there was a backward glance or two, but I didn’t pay this much mind.

No, I do not like it when (as in the case of last night) I get the lowest grade in the class. And I didn’t like being treated like dogshit by the evaluator. But I decided not to dwell on this.

Halloween at the recycling center

Here’s what’s important. I’m learning a great deal, both as an educator and as someone being educated. In putting on my teacher hat this past semester, I’ve seen how students have been treated and given a lot of thought to how I would emulate the better teachers and not emulate the bad ones. I have also, as a teacher, learned that some are adept teachers and terrible evaluators. And in putting on my student hat, I’ve figured out some new study strategies. For instance, I am now studying for my practical exam in the mornings, and for my written test in the evenings.

This is the most important thing of all, and it well relates to hindsight. I have often wished that I had gone on for a degree in veterinary medicine, a science-related field; this as opposed to my having gone on for several degrees in the field of English. I did this because my teachers encouraged it. They saw something I did not – an intensely creative person who struggled with scientific methodology.

Well, I am now seeing what they saw. I am feeling like I have hit the wall in my brief foray into the world of medicine. I enjoy what I’m learning, limitedly. Limitedly is a key word here. It is not that the material is all that difficult. It is that there is so much of it. And furthermore, there is absolutely no room for creativity.

Last night I went into class and did an imitation of Julia Child, the French cook. I stood in front of a handful of my peers and held up my EMT book and workbook and in Julia’s voice talked about scene safety – and then, using an example from the book. In this example, it was said that kitchens are not safe places because the potential for getting hurt, say by someone brandishing a knife, is quite high. I went on a roll with this statement and said that those who failed to study might bypass this important piece of information and subsequently be killed should they enter a kitchen.

I could have done an entire trauma skills sheet in Julia’s voice. I actually pictured myself doing this. And I still might.

So, there you have it, I, an intensely creative person, am realizing that perhaps I did end up taking the right career path.

Next: 302. 10/1/19: Book Hoarder

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