Alys: Hello Ryder, what are you doing?
Ryder: I’m here standing on the living room chair, looking for squirrelly whirly.
A: Any sign of her?
R: She’s a he.
A: How do you know this?
R: Squirrely Whirly has balls.
A: How do you know this?
R: I can see them, clear as day. Squirrel balls are not hard to miss.
A: What else have you noticed about Squirrelly Whirly?
R: He isn’t one for staying in one place very long.
A: Well then, why has he stuck around?
R: To torment me.
A: Are you taking his actions personally?
R: No. Look. There he is. He is looking at me, and chattering away. He knows that I
Ryder on her sheepskin saddle pad bed
can’t get at him because there is a glass window between us. I mean, just look at him, he is being a tease.
A: Why don’t you reverse roles? You could go on the offense and he could follow you around.
R: Nope. He’d just lose interest and find another creature to torment.
A: How come he doesn’t bother the goats?
R: Because they don’t pay him any attention.
A: See? There you are. If you followed the goat’s example, he would leave you alone.
R: What fun would that be?
A: Well, if you ignored him, and he left you alone, you could do other things with your time.
R: Such as?
A: Take up knitting.
R: I don’t have thumbs.
A: Take up playing chess.
R: I’d need a partner.
A: Take up paint by numbers.
R: Too boring.
A: What if we got a cat?
R: Wouldn’t work. The cat would be obsessed with finding mice.
A: What if we got another dog?
R: Another dog?
A: Sure. Another border collie.
R: I lived with two dogs before, Rainbow and Jenna. They were both wonderful companions. I don’t think that we could now do better. Plus, I’m getting on in years. Play, play, play, that’s all young dogs think about.
A: What if we got an older dog?
R: Older dogs come with baggage. They also tend to be grumpy.
A: What about a dog your age?
R: Bottom line – I am not interested in interacting with other dogs on a daily basis.
A: What if it was a dog like Feona? Remember her – she was an English Shepherd.
R: Feona was a great playmate and a very kind and gentle soul. I miss her being around. But I could not live with her, or one of her kind.
A: Why not?
R: I am quite content these days – to a large part because I have a wonderful routine. I hang out inside in the mornings, go out with you and/or Pete in the afternoons, and play tug with Pete in the evenings.
A: Do you miss being out on the trail?
R: Yes and no. I loved chasing the smaller, wild animals. But I do like my creature comforts.
A: The saddle pad in the tent wasn’t enough for you?
R: There’s really no place like home. And nothing quite compares to a nice warm bed.
A: Well, I was just checking to make sure everything was okay.
R: Look. Squirrelly Whirly is back.
A: Yes, he’s back. Balls n all.
Next: 296. 10/26/19: Horse Adminitrativa