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January 21, 2019: A Conversation with Ranger and Stormy

The following conversation took place late this evening, as I was cleaning the goat pen and the chicken roost.

Alys: How are you two doing?
Ranger: Okay.
Stormy: Okay.
A: Just okay.
S: Just okay.
R: Just okay.
A: Not better than okay?
R: Not better than okay.
S: Not better than okay.
A: Why’s that?
R: Winter seems to be endless this year.
S: Yes, it’s been cold a lot of the time.
R: But it hasn’t been windy. I remember back in the day, the wind would come ripping through here and the wind turbine would shriek. Rover, he really hated it. If he had hands and fingers he would have plugged his ears.
S: You don’t say.
R: I do say.
A: The daylight is returning.
R: Yes. It’s just awful, you or Pete shut the shed doors and we’re left in the dark.

Alys feeding Peahes's baby goats
Alys feeding Peahes's baby goats

S: I catch up on my rest though.
A: And you Ranger?
R: I’m the goat that never sleeps. I simply hang out and chew my cud.
S: Well at least the hay is good.
R: And plentiful.
R: And the mice come and visit us.
A: Do they have anything of consequence to say?
S: Seldom. They generally just complain about the cold and the lack of daylight.
R: This winter I haven’t seen very many of them.
A: Neither have I. I wonder if they’ve had a die-off.
S: What’s a die-off?
R: It’s when a species dies off.
S: Might Ranger and I die off?
A: No. This happens to animals who don’t get enough food or water.
S: Glad to hear it.
A: Stormy, we need to have a come to Jesus talk.
S: Ohh, I hope this is about your proposed nativity scene. I want to hang out by the Baby Jesus.
A: Wouldn’t it be better to have a baby goat in the scene?
R: Most certainly.
A: Well, where do baby goats come from?
S: Their mothers.
A: Right.
R: I think I know where you are going with this. This has nothing to do with me, thank god.
A: Stormy, your job in life is to produce milk.
S: I thought my job was to keep Ranger company.
R: And I thought my job was to keep Stormy company.
A: Yes, these are both your jobs. But Stormy has a second job.
R: Lucky you.
S: Lucky me?
A: Stormy, you need to have a baby so that we can get some goat milk. Problem is, you haven’t indicated to us when you are in season.
S: Oh yes I have. You just haven’t been paying enough attention.
A: Well, what are the signs?
S: I wiggle my tail.
R: And you flirt with me.
S: But there’s nothing Ranger can do about my situation.
A: No, we have to take you back to where you came from.
S: We did this once – I had a ronde vu with ole Mr. Phoenix.
A: He’s dead now, so you’d have a go around with a younger buck.
R: Can I come and watch?
S: No.
A: No.
A: Stormy, you need to give more than a tail wag when you are in season.
S: What else do you want?
R: I know when you’re in season. I’ll take care of it.
A: Soon?
S: Soon.
R: Soon.

Next: 22. 1/22/19: The Writing Life/The Horse Life/Focus

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