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January 18, 2019: The State of the Farm Address

Raudi was going to give the 2019 Squalor Holler State of the Farm Address, but then she deferred to Ryder after the other animals expressed dissatisfaction about her biased point of view. Raudi was put out about this for a while, but I convinced her that she, now being a very reliable trail horse and an agility champion, had other things to think about. The following is Ryder’s 2019 speech. She would give it live, in a You Tube video, but said she preferred to have me write down her thoughts for her. Border Collies don’t have thumbs, so they can’t write out their ideas. But they can make their ideas known because they are very intelligent animals.

Hello Everyone. Ryder here. I am not being sponsored by a dog food company – my observations are my own and those of the other animals who reside here at Squalor Holler, which right now consists of four horses, two goats, and two chickens. At one point in time (I am told) there were five horses, three goats, three chickens and three dogs living here. Numbers are down, which first leads to my animal-related observations. Another, younger chicken would be a nice addition. Thelma and Louise are getting up there, and thus sporadic egg layers. Just one, no more.

The goat situation also needs to be dealt with, and soon. Stormy needs a suitor. She’s a well-bred high producer and there is no reason why she should remain barren. As for the horses, no we do not need any more here. Horses are time-consuming and expensive creatures. I understand that they give Alys great joy and Pete some joy, but the rallying cry around here needs to be no more! Alys is concerned about Jokla and her future. Jokla is owned by friends. Alys named her and was the first to ride her, so she has a special place in her heart for her. Raudi, hearing that Alys was mulling over taking Jokla on, said loud and clear, no way. And what Raudi says, goes.

I’m now the dog. I like being the only dog on site most of the time; though, I’d be okay with Pete and Alys taking on another border collie if I got along with her. I do think that first, some concerns of mine need to be addressed. I would like to be fed three instead of two times a day, and for the Senior Meals and Wheels vehicle to stop here on a daily basis. I could, now and then, use a helping or two or three of meat loaf, though I’ll pass on the corn dogs.

We animals are collectively concerned about border security. There are some rather nasty curs who live down the road, and every so often they come onto our property. There are also some belligerent moose who do the same. A wall would keep out these interlopers. Hrimmi is willing to assist with hauling materials to the site, and Tyra is up for trying her hand at tool use. This wall will be made of concrete, the mix provided by Pete and Alys’s friend Gene. When complete, it will be six feet in height and surround the property.

Funding will come from a variety of sources including the Mat-Su Health Foundation, for they believe, as do us animals, that good fences make good neighbors.

This is it for right now. We will continue to make our wants and needs known to the outside world, wall or no wall.

Next: 19. 1/19/19: Brrrrrrr Returns

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