Home > Dispatches > Daily Dispatches 2018 >Daily Dispatch #44

February 13, 2018: Nobody Here but us Chickens

Alys: It’s time for a chat.
Chickens: (In unison) time for a chat, imagine that.
A: Thinking about writing poetry?
Flag: Thinking about? What’s this thinking about? We are poultry.
Rumba: Well, we could do a poultry reading.
Flag: I will look into your eyes and see the future.
A: Aren’t we all in a good mood?
R: Warmer weather, it brings out the best in us.
A: But there you both are, still on your perch.
F: Yes, until the second coming.
A: Huh?
R: You know, the end of the world. . .

F: As we know it.
A: None of this is making any sense to me.
R: And if you read what I wrote you’d call it chicken scratch.
A: I have something I want to talk about.
F: You always have something you want to talk about.
A: I want to talk about your names.
F: I am Flag.
R: And I am Rumba.
A: I thought we might call you Thelma and Louise.
F: Nope.
R: Double nope.
F: Double nope, go jump rope.
A: Do you know who Thelma and Louise were?
R: Were? Don’t want to be named after a dead woman.
A: They were two women who went against the status quo. They were very feisty, very opinionated, very vocal.
F: Like us.
R: But they were not us.
F: We are what we are.
R: And we are who we are.
A: And what and who are you?
F: We are chickens hear us roar. In numbers too large to ignore . . .
A: And how in hell did you learn that tune?
R: Where we were, before, Anne Corinne sang it to us.
A: Oh Geez.
F: Next, the come to Jesus talk.
A: No. I simply wanted to know if you two would like to be called Thelma and Louise.
R: No.
F: No.
A: And why not?
R: Because no one, not even us, would know who Thelma is, or who Louise is.
F: I’m Flag, identifiable by my tail plumage.
R: And I’m Rumba, identifiable by my lack of tail plumage.
A: I get it.
R: That’s good because you are not all that bright.
A: Yeah, I’m slow. Be patient with me.
F: In the spring, I think that we should increase the flock size by one.
R: Good idea.
A: Why?
F: Because Pete is BUYING eggs.
A: That’s because neither of you are laying them.
R: Give us a heated coop, a heated water dish, and access to the great outdoors, and you might get your eggs.
A: What does this have to do with getting another chicken?
F: Stupid bird will lay eggs.
R: And this will take the pressure off of us.
A: What if Bird Three fails to lay eggs?
A: Have you no empathy?
F: Yes, but I dole it out judiciously.
R: Me too.
A: Well, Flag and Rumba it will remain.
R: Rumba and Flag please.
A: Rumba and Flag, Flag and Rumba. I understand.
F and R: (in unison) Yep, nobody here but us chickens.

Next: 45. 2/14/18: More Adventures on the White Highway

Horse Care Home About Us Dispatches Trips Alys's Articles