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December 19, 2018: A Conversation with Thelma and Louise

Thelma and Louise are our two chickens. They have a lot to say about nearly everything.

Alys: Girls, time to go into the roost.
Thelma: High point of the day.
Louise: High point of the evening.
A: Thelma, hop on my arm. There you go, into the roost.
L: Me next.
T: The water’s frozen.
A: I’ll get you warm water.
L: Don’t wait long.
A: I never wait long.
T: Oh yes you do.
A: Are you saying that your care here is substandard?
T: Yes I am.

T & L
T & L

L: Thelma, be careful what you say. She’s the one who feeds and waters us.
A: Now do you think that I’d blow off getting you all fresh water?
T: Yes I do.
L: I am doubtful about this.
A: How come you birds are so grumpy?
T: It’s the weather. So little light.
L: So little warmth.
T: So little to do around here.
L: What I wouldn’t give for a big fat ole worm.
T: I would like for the ground to warm and dusty so I could have a feather bath.
L: Yes, out back.
T: And I would like to smell the green grass.
L: And I would like to hear the robins.
T: But no, our days are spent going from small roost to larger coop.
L: Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
A: I can’t help this.
T: Some chickens have houses, with windows, and lights and heat.
L: And multiple stories.
T: Would it be too much bother for you to get us a house?
A: I thought you were tough Alaskan hens.
L: We are but . . .
T: This is beyond what any chicken should have to endure.
A: Do you two have anything positive to say?
T: No.
L: No.
A: You know, in the next few days its going to start getting lighter.
T: Promises, promises.
A: And I’m very fond of you both.
L: I suppose it helps that we’re both laying eggs again.
A: Yes.
T: We don’t lay when we molt.
A: And that was one serious molt.
L: Lots of down on the ground, for sure.
A: What did you both think of the earthquake?
L: I’d have said that Henny Penny was right, and the sky was falling.
T: But the sky wasn’t falling. The ground, it felt like it was falling.
L: We were both in the roost
T: And the door to the coop was closed.
L: And it felt like we were in a box
T: And someone was shaking it very hard.
L: It was sorta like when we came here and we were in the crate.
T: But then we could see where we were.
L: Terrifying, utterly terrifying.
T: But that was a once in a lifetime thing, right?
L: Don’t talk like that. It makes it sound as though you expect to lead a short life.
A: We don’t know when the next earthquake will be.
L: You mean you won’t get a warning?
A: Nope. None at all.
L: Shake n Bake. It gives the words a new meaning.
T: Let’s eat before the mice get to our food.
A: And when you want more, just let me know.

Next: 354. 12/20/18: Earth to Alys

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