Tossing Your Hat in the Ring
Pull the hat
out of the bottom drawer,
this the red and white checked hat
that makes you, the boy from Wisconsin,
look like Elmer Fudd.
Take your seat at ringside,
toss that hat hard,
watch it sale above the heads of onlookers,
then listen to the sound of their clapping,
which can be likened to the sound
of bacon frying in its own grease.
Such ventures are chancy,
for a Shriner might step on your hat,
fall, and sue your ass.
Or an elephant might pick it up with its trunk
and wipe the rear end of the elephant in front of it.
Or a horse might lift her tail and poop on it.
Stranger things have happened,
and undoubtedly will happen again.
There you will be
your head, uncovered, your hair, windblown.
The odds of your catching a cold will increase
at each passing moment.
But ohh, when the show's over,
and everyone has gone home,
you'll venture down to ringside,
pick up your hat, dust off the sawdust,
and place it back on your head.
for having thrown caution to the wind.