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March 16, 2017: Cabin Fever

I am now going through a bout of cabin fever, something that I’ve never before experienced. I’ve got the hallmark symptoms, I feel anxious, restless, irritable. I’m not able to get much of anything done. I’m grumpy, listless. These symptoms seem like bird droppings, falling on my head, splat, splat, splat.

The reason why I feel this way is screechingly evident to me. The weather and the change in light has brought this on. It’s gotten increasingly more windy and cold the past few days. I can deal, but why bother? As for the light – I now feel like I should be getting things done outside at 6, 7, 8 p.m., but I can’t motivate myself to

go outside. Pete and I did take Tyra and Hrimmi for a walk yesterday. My steps felt heavier than usual. I felt good in the horses’ presence but could not remain outside.

I’m also depressed about how the June Centered Riding clinic scheduling is going. I have been working really hard to get the classes filled, but locals are not biting. People from outside are very enthused, but those from around here are rather ho-hum. I can’t handle finding accommodations and scheduling the comings and goings of more than ten outsiders. And I’m feeling pressured because they have all made their plane reservations, so I won’t be able to cancel the two clinics.

I wasn’t keen on organizing these clinics – but the arena owners (who messed up the schedule last year) wanted to do this this year. And stupid me, I agreed to this. They’ve been busy, so I haven’t yet gotten any help with advertising this clinic. I now feel like I’m swimming upstream in a raging river.

I hope today to get Tinni and Raudi out for rides. It is still windy and cold. The other day we did ten miles. I don’t anticipate going that far today, but we will have to get some miles in. And I do need to get Tyra and Hrimmi out. We have a bit of wood chewing going on – a clear sign that they are bored.

Tonight Pete and I are going to Girdwood for a concert. Girdwood is a ways from here. I am not overly excited about the prospect of doing this. But I’m going along with the plan because I’m Pete’s partner and as such I should at least once in a while do what he wants to do. I know, too, that I’ll have a good time once we get going. And it’s going to be like the good old days – we are going to sleep in the back of the truck. We did this one winter, went all the way cross country. We slept in a church parking lot. One of the priests came out and gave us money so that we could spend the night in a motel. Maybe this will happen tonight.

And we are getting a house sitter. The last time we did this Jay left her dog drugs out on the table and Ryder ate them and nearly died. We came home to a note on the table – she could not face us. And she did not offer to pay the bill.

I am now thinking about the enormity of what’s involved in keeping things on an even keel around here, even for one evening. The house sitter will get her at 4:00 p.m. and we’ll have the late afternoon chores done. We’ll take Ryder with us. Rainbow is going to have to be taken outside to poop and pee. The water is going to have to be heated on the wood stove and doled out to the animals. The hay is going to need to be set aside for the horses. We don’t have a home entertainment center for the animals. They are our home entertainment center.

We’ll get back here midday tomorrow. Saturday I’ll meet with Betty and we’ll work on the goat art/poetry reading. I am trying to reroute my neurons and see myself as having a case of Cabin Fervor, an enhanced state of excitement that occurs when I think of how wonderful it is to live here. It’s hard, hard. I’m not there yet. But I took the first step in writing this dispatch.

Next: 76. 3/17/17: New Mantra: Stay Focused

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