When I do things, I often give it my all, sometimes to the exclusion of other things. This intensity of focus is sometimes good and sometimes bad. It’s good in that the task at hand get done. But it’s bad in that other things do not get done.

I have been obsessive in my sorting and organizing endeavors. I can see the end in sight in terms of macro-management. There would be no end in sight in terms of micro-management. For example I could spend the rest of my life sorting through journals, going through them page-by-page, and making table of contents pages for each one. Actually, this is tempting. But I have decided that having the journals in some semblance of order and noting what’s on the cover will suffice.

Alys walking Tyra

Why do this? That’s the question that keeps surfacing. The answer is that having less will make what I do have more accessible. And having things more accessible will make them easier to find. And having them be easier to find will save me time. And saving time will provide with me more writing time. And having more writing time will increase the chances of being published. And increasing the chances of being published will lend greater legitimacy to what I do. And lending greater legitimacy to what I do will enable me to become a member of Palmer’s inner circles. And my being a member of Palmer’s inner circle will change my life in ways that right now, seem to me to be unimaginable.

This is a very lengthy and good rationalization. It also legitimizes my having obsessive compulsive disorder. Or, maybe I have obsessive compulsive order. That’s oco. I like it. I have oco. I have just diagnosed myself, and without having to refer to the DSM.

There are days like today when I have several projects ahead – and all are of equal importance. I have to sort through the piled up garbage and get the contents into the recycling bin. I have to file the drafts of my recycling book. I have to go through the stacks of journals and notebooks on the desk and figure out what to do with them. And I have to hang up the clean clothes. No, where I begin does not matter at all.

I estimate that I will be done with all this by the New Year. This realization is keeping me going. What a great way to start 2018. It’s like I got a running start on it. Had I waited until New Year’s Day I would have been dealing with last year’s detritus. That’s no way to start anew.

The one distraction right now is the horses. We have been getting out and doing agility and riding them. Sunny skies beckon though it is difficult to pull myself away from “all this.” Today all this was the bookcase in the living room. I rearranged books and discarded out-of-date publications. But in addition to riding, I did take Tinni and Tyra for a walk.

I’ll read this dispatch in a year and realize that it is pretty trite. That’s the nature of having oco.

Next: 356. 12/25/17: Christmas Dispatch