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November 3, 2017: At Loose Ends, Again

I am once again wondering, is anyone ever going to push a door open for me or am I going to have to continue to push them open myself? I would like for someone, anyone, to push just one door open.

I have been working so hard. I had high hopes for the Project Proprius people. I thought that maybe, just maybe, they’d see that the work I’m doing has strong ties to the work they are doing, and would acknowledge this, perhaps by inviting me down to California for a visit. A person can dream, can’t they?

As it stands right now, Project Proprius is going to keep going for a third month and then it is going to disband indefinitely.

The base camp is being moved to Lopez Island in the San Juan Islands. This is good for Pete and me financially because the monthly payment for the online videos was somewhat expensive.

The Project Proprius work was good for me because it provided me with horse-related training guidance, guidance that originally came from an Interest in Centered Riding and had roots in movement and motivation theory.

Today my ordered copies of Move Your DNA and Movement Matters, both by Katy Bowman, arrived in the mail. And the Eric Franklin book has been a tremendous help – it’s comprehensible and easy to understand. And it works. I do the exercises and I have more mobility.

So, the answer for now is to abandon the door metaphor and keep doing what I am doing – and also, take joy in what I’m doing, once in a while reminding myself that in taking joy in what I am doing that I am in the moment. What’s most important is to stay physically and mentally mobile. I was reading Movement Matters – it has a truly great introduction by Ben Pobjoy. He became obese, and through movement, he lost over 100 pounds. He writes: “I was easily confronted with the fact that my greatest personal shortcoming is what I can only describe as a form of emotional paralysis. It is an immobility of sorts, an inability to foster deep connections with others and ultimately myself because I could never move to a place of vulnerability. I have this sense that this immobility is a symptom of a sedentary life . . . that the biomechanical, emotional, and psychical are much more intertwined than I can comprehend.”

What he’s saying is that physical and mental mobility are linked. And the body and mind are linked. So today, because I have not been moving mentally to the degree I’d like, I moved physically. I did an Eric Franklin exercise where I leapt after envisioning myself being able to do this. It was quite dramatic – I became earth-bound when I pictured the opposite way of being.

This maybe was what prompted me to suggest to Pete that we take Tyra and Hrimmi for a hike up the bench. We climbed uphill, and at the top we looked out over the valley at a cloud cover so thick that it appeared as though one might walk on it. We headed downhill, into the fog that had rolled in behind us, during our climb. Tyra, off lead, looked in the mist like she had soft edged.

So my continuing to move physically is key to my continuing to move mentally. This thought is what’s going to sustain me as I continue to reach out and push on doors.

Next: 305. 11/4/17: If it’s Not Broke, Don’t Fit It

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