I’m the sort of person who dreads what’s to come. I have always been this way. It does not matter what is coming about – I dread it. My earliest memory is of me learning that I was going to have my tonsils pulled. Prior to this, I had eye surgery, so I regarded overnight hospital stays as something to fear.

I remember my parents leaving me at the hospital – and looking out an upper story window – it was snowing out – I could see the streetlights below. And I remember thinking that I did not want to spend the night at that place, nor did I want to be put under. Maybe not such a good thing – the nurses explained the entire process to us

frightened kids. The next morning we were one bed at a time, rolled into the room where they put us out. I recall being asked to count backwards from ten, and trying to do a good job.

The next thing I knew I was back in the room that I had previously inhabited – my mother was there. Everything was blurry. I went back to sleep and woke later that afternoon. Of course my throat hurt, and I was very thirsty.

My recollection, which is false, is that the surgery took a long time. Of course, it was probably no more than a minute because all the doctor did was snip out the tonsils and adenoids.

I lived through this. I have since lived through other things that I have dreaded. Some things have gone better than others. Tomorrow I have something major to dread. I am doing my Bones for Life didactic, which is going to be a more evaluative than it is learning experience. I have been down this road before – being evaluated rather than taught – the most recent experience was in Vermont, where I attended a Centered Riding update clinic.

I have my notes on index cards. I had just a few days to distill a lot of information from the manual to my computer to the cards. I did the best I could do. I am not sure if the best I could do is good enough. If I do anything amiss, like leave out a key move, my teacher will let me know what it is – and at the same time write it down. And so I do not feel as though my getting Bones for Life certification is going to be a done deal. If I do poorly, and I might, she should work closely with me when she mentors me.

Yep, the feeling is just like when I was going to have my tonsils pulled. If there is one saving grace, it is that I will surely celebrate this being over at 4 p.m. tomorrow, no matter what the outcome.

Next: 226. 7/19/17: Relief