Today dawned cloudless, sunny, warm. Was the essence of summer. It was ironically, the day in which we were to have Rainbow euthanized. Then we changed our mind. Then we changed our mind back because we knew it was time.

I spent time with her this morning when Pete was out in the garden. I told her what a great dog she was and repeatedly told her I’d miss her. Then I fed her lots of canned cheese whiz off my fingers. She didn’t miss a bite.

Zach (our veterinarian) was late, so I spent time cleaning the trailer. Around noon, he did arrive, along with Sarah, his assistant. Pete went and completed the paper work while I said one final good-bye to my old buddy.

Rainbow could not have had a better exit. She was here, at home, on the front lawn. It had remained sunny and warm. She would not have enjoyed having to go to the veterinary clinic. Dr. Zach and Sarah were both properly empathetic. He first administered a painkiller/anesthetic – and right then I knew that Rainbow was no longer in pain. He next administered the drug that killed her. Her heart stopped and I am sure, her soul left her body.

We talked for a bit with Zach and Sarah, who then left. Pete had earlier dug a hole up on the hill – in a place that partially overlooks the horse pen. He laid her to rest and I read the eulogy that I wrote yesterday. I then placed it in her grave with her collar and license. Pete next covered her up and planted a spruce tree on her grave. Bootleg had a lilac bush, but it did not make it. Jenna also has a spruce tree.

Pete later went up and watered the spruce tree.

We then went on with our day – I don’t know how Pete felt, but my heart was heavy. I am going to miss that dog. We cleaned up the living room and took the carpet remnants that we had put down for Rainbow outside. The big piece is going to the dump and I’ll use the smaller pieces in doing agility.

I finished cleaning up the trailer – we then went for a ride to Grizzly Camp, with Pete riding Tinni and me riding Raudi. On this ride I couldn’t help but remember taking Rainbow with us. In fact, more than once, we took Rainbow, Jenna, and Ryder to the top. We have photos of Rainbow and Pete, standing on a downed log on the uphill trail.

Heather came over this evening and we talked over our competitive trail ride plans. I did not talk at all about Rainbow. I don’t dump my woes on people.

It’s now very late – and dark out. I am glad that Rainbow went the way she did – it was a peaceful and calm death. I always feared she’d get taken out by a moose or hit by a car. And I am really glad that she passed here, on her home turf. Now I must deal with the emptiness that comes with her being gone. I will just have to learn how to deal with it.

Next: 200. 7/22/17: Taking Stock