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June 26, 2017: A Conversation with Stormy, the Goat

The following conversation took place with Stormy as I was milking her (she was in the goat stand) and she ate her morning grain.

Alys: Stormy, how do you like living here?
Stormy: Just fine, just f-i-n-e.
A: You had quite an adjustment to make.
S: Sure did, s-u-u-r-e did.
A: You went from living in a large herd to a much smaller one.
S: I did, I did, I did, I did.
A: Which did you prefer, having a lot of herd mates or having just Ranger as a companion?
S: N-o-o-o preference.

A: How might we make your life here any better?
S: More r-a-a-a-isins.
A: Yeah, we need to go to Costco and pick up some. All they have at Freddies are raisins in bulk.
S: Wh-a-a-ts bulk?
A: It means a lot of one item, unpackaged.
S: And who is Fre-d-d-i-e?
A: That’s the name of the store where we get our produce.
S: And what is a s-t-o-re?
A: Well Stormy, many years ago people farmed the land and got most of what they eat off their property. Then people got lazy and began going to get their food and other incidentals from one central location.
S: Don’t underst-a-a-a-and.
A: That’s okay. You don’t have to understand. You just have to trust that I am going to continue to make good decisions on your behalf. We are out of raisins, which is why I am giving you packer pellets. You and Ranger seem to be enjoying them.
S: T-r-e-a-a-a-t. Go-o-o-d.
A: Can you think of anything else we can improve up on here?
S: T-h-i-i-n-n-K?
A: Think. It’s when a living being, in their head, elaborates on an idea, thought, or phrase.
S: I don’t understa-a-a-a-n-d.
A: You understand more than most. You are a very smart goat.
S: Yes. I am milked. Therefore I a-a-a-a-a-m.
A: That’s right.
S: Until I run d-r-r-r-y.
A: When will that be?
S: I don’t k-n-o-o-o-o-w.
A: So in addition to not thinking, you don’t think about the future.
S: N-o-o-o-o-.
A: We need for you to have babies in order to get milk. Would you like to have more babies?
S: Y-e-e-e
A: Then we will have to take you back to where you came from, Suzy and Mike’s place. There you will have a short meeting with a male goat.
S: G-o-o-o-o-o-d.
A: Then next spring you’ll give birth to a baby or two.
S: Go-o-o-o-o-d.
A: Or three.
S: Even b-e-t-t-t-e-r.
A: I suppose you want to know what is going to become of your babies.
S: Y-e-e-e-e-s.
A: We’ll keep the girls. And I’ll find good homes for the boys. I chose you because you come from champion Alpine lines. This will be a good selling point.
S: Ke-e-e-p the b-o-ys?
A: Stormy, we do not have a lot of space here. It would get very crowded very quickly if we kept all your offspring. Plus we can’t afford to feed more than three goats at a time.
S: We will all eat gra-a-a-a-ss.
A: Not in the winter.
R: Never too many b-a-a-bies.
A: You are quite the talker.
R: Talk is good. Talk is good.
A: Well I am done milking you for right now. Looks like you gave about 2.5 quarts, your average. Pete is going to make cheddar cheese tonight. Do you want to come with Ranger and me down to the horse pen?
R: Lo-o-o-o-o-v-e-ly idea.

Next: 174. 6/27/17: Too Many Choices

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