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March 7, 2016: A Conversation with Ryder

Alys: Ryder, got a question for you.
Ryder: Could you wait a bit? I have my eye on Jenna. I am going to finish her food for her.
A: Why don’t you leave Jenna alone?
R: Is that your question?
A: No.
R: Then I don’t have an answer for you.
A: Okay. Leave Jenna’s food alone and listen up.
R: Wait until I’m done.
A: No.
R: What’s no mean?
A: It means that I’m not going to wait until you are done.
R: Fine. Don’t wait.
A: Go to your mat.
R: Now that’s a specific command. I’ll get you trained yet.

A: Do it. Now.
R: I hear you. I hear you.
A: Sit.
R: I’m sat. Now what is your question?
A: Why have you taken to barking at the moose in the yard in the middle of the night?
R: Barking at moose is in my job description.
A: No it’s not. It’s in your job description to lay still at night so that those of us who are light sleepers can get some shut-eye.
R: Who can sleep with a moose right outside the window?
A: Ignore it and it will go away.
R: Bark at it and it will go away quicker.
A: Moosey Moosey does not need you to tell it what to do.
R: Does so.
A: Does not.
R: Does so.
A: Does not.
R: I’ll make a deal with you. You bark at the moose and I’ll lay low.
A: Why would I want to do that?
R: Because you don’t want me to do it.
A: That’s right. I don’t see why either of us should bark at the moose.
R: Let’s have Pete do this then.
A: Sorry, he’s with me on this one. Barking at moose is a waste of time.
R: I do. Can’t have moose so close to the house. Not a good thing at all. It’s a bad thing.
A: Why is that?
R: Some things belong elsewhere, moose included.
A: So you can’t give me any specifics.
R: How much more specific do you want me to get? Moose in driveway. Dog barks. Dog scares off moose who then leaves the area.
A: I think that the moose is fine wherever it is.
R: You say that now. But you go outside to feed the horses and one will knock you over then stomp you to death.
A: And you’ll grab my femur and run.
R: That’s right.
A: How do you know this?
R: Rainbow told me.
A: You think that Rainbow is a reputable source?
R: No. I don’t think she’s a reputable source. She’s a dog.
A: And dog is all knowing.
R: You got it.

Next: 66. 3/8/16: The “Other” Cart Horse

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