I kept quiet about this, or relatively so, in conversing with Eleanor because I can be obsessive. Instead, I’ve been attempting to show concern about the cat. I also helped her fix her screen door. And I stayed out of her way by not asking too many questions as she worked on it. It’s her project – I was more of a support person than anything else.
I love El, even more so now than before. We are family. Both our parents are now gone. I knew they’d both die someday, but I didn’t expect them to die within six months of one another. What were the odds of this happening?
El went out the store to get Pumpkin’s insulin prescription filled. And I got anxious, wondering what I’d do if something happened to her. And what will I do if something happens to her in the near future? I guess I’d take on her cats but they would have to live in the goat shed.
And then I got anxious about Pete, who I haven’t heard from in a few days. What if he dies in a plane crash on the way home? And me, what about me? I’m not going to be around forever either. I know my being anxious is due to the fact that I am suffering from death-related PTSD. I also know that my fears are unrealistic. No, I take that back. My fears are realistic. I must enjoy life, enjoy both El’s and Pete’s company while we are all here.
I am going to be here two more days and three more nights. I’m going to continue to enjoy being here because I will be very busy when I get back home.
Next: 104. 4/21/16: Problems, eh?