Alys: Morning dude, how are you doing?
Tinni: Can’t complain.
A: Sure you can complain. We all complain.
T: I really have nothing to complain about. I got my hay, I got my water. I got my own shelter area at night. And I got my mares.
A: So all is well?
A: I’m going to cut to the chase. What would you think about our getting a fourth horse?
T: This is not a good idea. In fact, it’s a terrible idea.
A: Why is that?
T: Because things are fine the way they
are. Hrimmi, Raudi, and I get along just fine. We do not need an interloper.
A: How do you know this won’t work?
T: Remember Lifre? He was a pain in the ass. All he wanted to do was fuck Hrimmi. It was all he could think about.
A: What if we got a mare?
T: Bad idea. I have put a lot of time and energy into whipping Hrimmi and Raudi into shape. I am not up for taking on yet another mare.
A: What about Jokla?
T: She has excellent people manners. She’s kind, considerate and forgiving when you’re inconsistent in communicating your wishes to her.
A: So wouldn’t it be a good idea to take her on?
T: Let me finish. When I was at the Barnett’s I had at times to deal with one gelding, and three other mares. And there was a time here in which I had to deal with one gelding and three other mares. Five horses is pushing it. Mr. Siggi and I had our differences. And Raudi and Signy had their difference. I learned that the smaller the space, and the greater the number of horses, the more likelihood the odds are that there will be bickering and squabbling. There are three of us here now, and we get along really well. It’s a nice balance, and I would like to see it kept this way.
A: What if we had more space?
T: This still would be a bad idea. You’d then end up like the guy who used to live next to Katelyn, my former owner, and become a collector.
A: A collector?
T: Yes, a collector. You know, some kids collect horse statues. Well, some adults collect horses. We Icelandics actually seem to some to be like large scale collectables – this is because we’re small, have lush manes and tails, and have soft eyes. Problem is, the more horses collectors have, the less individual attention each one gets.
A: I hear you.
T: I might add that you need to think about your own time constraints. You’re doing a wonderful job of taking care of each of us, and providing us with individual attention. And you get us all out every single day, weather permitting. And you often get us out when the weather is not permitting. You would not be able to do this if you took on another horse. Well, you might be able to do this, but you’d be more pressed for time.
A: What if we took on a boarder Icelandic?
T: Not a good idea.
A: Why not?
T: There exists the likelihood that this person would cease to exercise their horse. There is nothing sadder than an Icelandic that isn’t being exercised. We like to get out and about.
A: Well, what do you think about the idea of our getting a bigger place?
T: That’s an excellent idea, just so long as I get my own night time small space, and individual ration of hay. I also really like being blanketed when it’s cold, rainy or I’m damp. And I also would like it if you continue to turn me out with Hrimmi and Raudi in the daytime.
A: Tinni, I promise that I won’t go against your wishes.
T: Thank you. This means a lot to me.
A: What if we go on another trip, where would you like to go?
T: Where you had me before. Terri took excellent care of me. And I really enjoyed hanging out with her buddy, Joe.
A: Is there any way in which I’m being remiss in caring for you?
T: I appreciated the fact that you took me off supplements this winter. My gut was bugging me. It was no fun, having the squirts. I’m better now. You can put me back on them.
A: I will do this, one supplement at time, so that we can determine if this was the reason for your problem. Anything else?
T: Nope. Can’t think of anything. But if I do, you’ll be the first to know.
A: Well then, do you want to go for a walk?
T: Take Raudi out first. I want to finish my hay.
Next: 56. 2/26/15: The Writing Life: Tales from the Crypt