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December 31, 2014: The Writing Life: If Wishes Were Horses: A Returning Rider’s Search for the Ideal Horse

I’ve spent considerable time over the past few weeks, revising and copy editing the book with the above title. It was originally called Raising Raudi, but this title was not fully what this book is about. It’s now nearly complete. I’m pleased with how it’s coming along – what I’ve written now corresponds/ complements the title. It is about my early struggles, in relation to acquiring Raudi and training her. At the time, it did not seem like I was dealing with any hardship at all. However, in revising this

book, I see that there was a great deal of it. All I can say is that I really must have wanted a horse.

Today, upon awaking, I had a writing-related break though. I had come to realize that in places, I was unnecessarily negative. It then immediately occurred to me that in the chapter where I talk about our having a horse warming, I was very down on Raudi’s former owner/breeder, Virginia Crawford. And at the same time, I saw where I might put a better spin on things, which I did. It was, in fact, a very easy thing to do. Tomorrow, I’ll go back and change a few other things, keeping in mind that those I had a dim view of were those who in the end enabled me to purchase Raudi.

I also added a new first chapter, one I wrote several years ago and later discarded. Here I write about my first horse-related memory. It fits in with the rest of the book. I will elaborate on it tomorrow and speculate as to why I am the way I am – that is, horse obsessed.

In other words, I need more exposition. I might begin with the statement – how to explain it, that is, being horse obsessed. What I know is what I remember. And what I remember, that is my fondness for equines, has remained a constant my entire life. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been drawn to horses and horse-related conversations. Little else interested me in the beginning, and little else interested me later on. In between, I was obsessed with bicycling and sea kayaking, activities that enabled me to be on the move. Horses, too, have enabled me to be on the move. The difference is that horses, unlike bicycles and sea kayaks, not only take me places, but also allow me to interact with them in a very real and visceral way. As for why I feel the need to be around horses – I haven’t the foggiest. And I am beginning to doubt that I am ever going to fully understand why this is.

As for memories, especially the early ones – they’re important because they are reflective of an unwavering consistency, that is one that’s remained a constant now in my life for over fifty years. That’s half a century.

The voice, the tone in this chapter – this sets the stage for what’s to follow, the story of how I as a horse person came full circle. That I to say that I had this interest early on and it resurfaced many years later. In time, that is when this book gets published (and it will) others are going to be able to identify. There will, on their parts, be an instantaneous jolt of recognition.

I am really fortunate to have the time in which to ponder this. I think that if I did not, that I’d be neurotic beyond the point of pale. I have insisted that it be this way, that is that I be given time to write and think hard about what it is that I’m writing about. The down side is that I don’t have an income and therefore can’t do many of the things that I’d like to do, like take riding lessons. This is a good tradeoff. It isn’t that I’d like for this to be otherwise, but rather that it cannot be otherwise.

Next: 350. 12/31/14: Finishing Up