Home > Dispatches > Daily Dispatches 2014 >Daily Dispatch #275

October 15, 2014: Moving Forward on a Sloppy, Gloppy Day

A few years back one, of the founders of the recycling center died. Beforehand, Teslin, who knew that she would not be around much longer, held a get together in which she said goodbye to her good friends and talked about her philosophy of life.

It’s been said that quite often, those who know that they’re soon to die cease to have egos. They live in the present, and with a “what is, is” attitude. Teslin was very much this way.

At one point, she said that hope is just an illusion because it’s so future centered. You can hope for something, but it may or may not come to be. Her statement about this matter made me feel uneasy because I’d always been one for hoping for things. This goes hand-in-hand with being a writer. I, for instance, am always hoping for this or that to be published. I hope for a large audience for my work, and plenty of accolades.

I began (after listening to Teslin) to focus more on living in the present; meaning I began keeping my expectations more in check. All this really did was make me feel despondent. Hope, however, has remained an afterthought.

I thought about this today, on yet another sloppy, gloppy afternoon. Actually, early on, I realized that one of my hopes has been realized. Pete and I went for a ride with my friend Heather, who trailered her horse Rio over to our place. As I often do, I considered taking Tinni instead of Raudi, for I was unduly concerned as to how Raudi would behave while riding with Rio, a more inexperienced trail horse—never mind that she’s now gone out several times in Rio’s company, and together we did the competitive trail ride. It was a totally irrational worry. Raudi did wonderfully – she IS now a very agreeable horse when I’m riding her with other horses. In essence, my hope that she’d someday be my steady eddy riding horse has been repeatedly affirmed.

So, what is there now to hope for? The answer is that I might move forward, not independently of Raudi, but in relation to her. I’ve been thinking for some time that I’d like to be a riding instructor, but I had until recently no idea as to how I’d go about this. I mentioned this to my friend Pam Nolfe in Washington State. Pam seems to know a bit about everything and everyone. I call her the inveterate researcher. She is in fact the one who connected Pete and me with CJ and Dave, who own Synergist Saddles.

Pam suggested that I contact Kandis Horton who lives in Washington State. I did this, and tonight, in a phone conversation, told her that I’d like to first do an internship and then get centered riding certification. Dare I say this? I felt like we connected, especially when I talked with her about Centered riding instruction, and specifically about leg position. She understood what I was getting at when I said that the simple statement “heels down,” is antithetical to using the key tenants of body awareness when attempting to teach people to ride. As we agreed, opening the hips changes the foot/ankle/leg position.

This was the first time in a long time that I’d talked with anyone about these kinds of specifics. We concluded our conversation with Kandis saying that she’ll sit down and devise a plan for me – one that will enable me to (perhaps) do an internship at her place. She might also arrange for me to go elsewhere in Washington and get Centered Riding Instruction certification.

There’s a part of me that’s dubious about my plan coming together because this is merely something that I’ve been working towards. And when you work towards something, you can (as I have) lose sight of the fact that something good will come of it. Yes, I now need to look up and look ahead. This is what one does when they’re moving forward.

Next: 276. 10/16/14: The Writing Life: Slog Hog